Intersting Read. Which side are you on?

Here is an interesting read from one of the guys in dober blog.
A bit lengthy, but fun to read. Can you see which description fits you?
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The Anatomy of a Hockey League - Jedi Style!

As the fantasy hockey world continues to grow and take shape, the leagues that inhabit it are incredibly varied as are those who take part. You can find yourself in a points only, straight keeper league, or dive into a salary cap, graduated keeper, complicated waiver system, multi-tiered scoring setup type league that will make your eyes bleed from reading the rules. And within those leagues are all sorts of personalities that make them even more … interesting … to be a part of.

From reading the title of this write-up you might wonder where I am going with this. Just bear with me for a moment as I explain. As I was thinking about this beast we all call fantasy hockey I couldn’t help but wonder about how my wife comments on how geeky it is. Now, forgetting about the fact that she was the one that said yes and is now stuck with this supposed geeky one, I think she probably does have a bit of a point. But it’s geeky in a socially acceptable way. In a way that makes most people, whether they consider themselves geeky or not, feel comfortable taking part in it. Now, they might not all post about it on their Facebook status, but there are very few who would deny they took part in this little pastime if directly asked.

In this way, fantasy hockey is a little bit like the geeky, but also socially acceptable Star Wars. Sure, there’s those who dress up and have pin ups of Princess Leia, but there’s also a ton of people who just go to watch it because it’s plain fun. And so in memory of these two things, I wanted to give a bit of a heads up as to what types of personalities one might find in a fantasy hockey league, and how to deal with them. Jedi Style.

The Good Guys

Yoda – When Yoda speaks you listen. Wise is Yoda. Generally once every two weeks you’ll hear from a Yoda owner in your league but it will often be something that is worth reading. It’ll be some comments on improvements to the league, or perhaps a couple paragraphs detailing their thoughts on a recent NHL trade, but it’s rarely said without some thought.

Possible Quote: “Here’s my thoughts on the current waiver system…(4 paragraphs)”

How to deal with them: It’s great to have one or two of these guys around as I have often found that they provide some great insight into things that often times many others have not sat down and given the time to really think about. If you can keep them active enough then they could be a healthy part of a rules Committee (if your league has that sort of thing), or are great to have on board early on when trying to brainstorm some ideas on how to create a league. Trading can be a little frustrating with these guys as they are often the types that works 70 hours a week and barely have time to check in, but do their best to keep up with the league. You’ll generally find yourself with a fair trading partner that you might be able to gain a slight advantage over at times.

Chewbacca – Does anyone know what this guy is saying half the time? Not really. But we don’t care because WOW can he fly the Millennium Falcon! I LOVE having guys like this in the league. They are super active, they are always online trash talking or just saying random things on the league message boards and they are generally good GMs who are great assets to have around.

Possible Quote: (Random Youtube video that has nothing to do with hockey)

How to deal with them: These guys are usually the ones that post links to funny stuff on the internet, trade for guys like Wade Belak just because they think he can punch real well, and will avoid picking up Niittymaki because they don’t want to have to spell his name. They will hit the jackpot sometimes and make a few smart pickups and on the rare occasion might even win the league. Generally though they’ll be middle of the pack kind of GMs that just make the place fun. I suggest making a place for them to put up their random youtube videos and strange banter. If you have a league message board make space for them to do their thing. I find that the league culture is as important to me as the league scoring settings to me and guys like this make it a TON of fun to be involved in a league. With a GM like this it’s best to throw out random trade ideas whenever you can think of them. Don’t be surprised when the guy checks and replies within three minutes as well because the league is probably something he checks in on all day long at work. You’ll find him a great trading partner that you should end up doing well with in the long run.

Han Solo – Fairly cocky with a shady background, Han Solo might have been rough around the edges but he knew his stuff. He’d be there to save poor Luke from certain doom. This kind of GM usually knows his hockey and he might even tell people about it. He’s not quick to make trades but most of them time when he does, it improves his team in some way. He likes to fire up online articles that discuss the players that he drafted and will have all sorts of stats which back up that he’s probably the best GM in the league. And he very well could be. He’s a certain threat to win year in and year out.

Possible Quote: “How I keep staying in the top three every single year is beyond me. I guess I’m just THAT good!”

How to deal with them: Just roll with the attitude and realize that you have a great GM that will probably be around for a very long time. He’ll be the kind of guy that trade negotiations will take a long time with but only because he (like you I am sure) is looking to gain every advantage possible in a trade and will be looking at all sorts of angles in the deal. You won’t be able to take this guy to the cleaners but with some work you can usually find a win/win with him.

Luke Skywalker – How do you put a finger on this guy really? He wanted to make out with his sister at one point, basically ignored Yoda most of the time and tossed his Lightsaber away when fighting the Emperor. But at the end of the day he saved the entire galaxy? What the heck? A lot of GMs will fit into this category. They make mistakes, they make good trades and bad trades, and they will hit all sorts of road bumps along the way. But they enjoy their hockey and will find success at some point because they work hard at trying to be a good GM. They are great for any league.

Possible Quote: “First place last year and 10th this year!”

How to deal with them: Let them do their thing. I would say that most leagues have a lot of guys like this in it and they are what keep leagues going. They are guys who are not afraid to make mistakes and learn from them. They will be pretty good trading partners who might win or lose deals at any point along the way. They will win your league at times, but will be great guys to have as they are not usually the types that will win year after year!

Princess Leia – I’ve yet to join a fantasy hockey league that has a scantily clad, gun toting, royal blooded woman in it. Good luck with that…

The Bad Guys

The Stormtrooper – These guys are not inherently bad, they just signed up to fight on the wrong side. I think Flames fans would fit in this category! Okay, all kidding aside, Stormtroopers are shoot first and ask questions later kind of guys. And they can’t hit the broad side of a barn. These guys are not always bad for a league and can make things interesting at times, but you need to be patient with them. They will throw out trades all over the place, many of which are so far out in left field that you wonder what they are thinking.

Possible Quote: “I’ll give you Doug Weight and my 5th rounder for Alexander Semin and Sergei Gonchar. It’s a great deal for you since both of those guys are injured and Weight is tearing it up!”

How to deal with these guys: Resist the urge to tear a strip out of them with your reply email or refuse to ever trade with them again. I’ve done that and it’s not a very good way to deal with it as it just ends up losing you a potential trading partner down the road. Lots of times they just need to be educated a little in the art of trading and given some polite suggestions as to why their trade ideas are not the greatest. It won’t always work and sometimes these guys won’t have a clue what you’re talking about, but if you can stick with it then you might just end up being one of the few guys that he is able to trade with down the road, and since his hockey knowledge is not likely to be super high that could mean a pay day for you down the road.

Emperor Palpatine – He rules with an iron fist and what he says goes. There is no such thing as consensus with this guy, it’s his way or the highway and he leaves a trail of charred and bloodied corpses behind him. We’ve pretty much all had horror stories of the league Commish that runs things this way. They change league settings in the middle of the year, lock people out of the league who disagree with them, bring in their friends and make onesided trades with them to make their team better, and just flat out cheat if none of the prior ideas works out. In short. GONG SHOW!

Possible Quote: “New Rule: Teams in 7th place at the end of the year get an extra draft pick because 7 is a lucky number in some cultures. Looks like that’s me this year!”

How to deal with them: I’m all for trying to work things out with people as the first choice. The big thing is to take it to private email or phone or whatever avoids making the Commish look even more like an idiot. There are the rare times where it’s simply the case of a first time Commish just learning the ropes and with those guys you just need patience, good communication and a few guys willing to stick it out. Generally though these guys are not going to change and it’s best to just get as far away as possible from the situation, and resist the urge to ever join one of their leagues again, regardless of if they are your own personal friends.

Admiral Motti – If you’re saying ‘Huh? Who?’ then you’re not alone. I had to admit I googled his name to find out who he was, but he’s a perfect fit for the type of owner I have in mind. Motti was the Admiral who told Darth Vadar that the Death Star was more powerful then the Force and got telekinetically choked until he almost died. Oh and then he got blown up on the Death Star later in the movie and we never hear from him again.

All leagues have a goof like this at some point and it’s usually right when a league gets started. He’s the guy that signs up, is all gung ho and ready to go, maybe even drafts his team and then is gone, never to be heard of again. He might even get one warning in between (the mind choke!) and promises to change his ways and be active again, but to no avail.

Possible Quote: “I’m going to school you guys for YEARS!” (Last thing ever posted on league message board)

How to deal with them: There’s not much you can do with these guys as there’s not often a lot of signs that they are going to be a bolter. Just make sure you write into your league constitution some way of dealing with guys who take off. Most leagues have to deal with a Runaway Bride at some point so it’s best to just be prepared for it right from the get go. Get the money up front!

Darth Vader – No list of bad guys would be complete without the masked man himself. Sure, he’s a cold blooded killer responsible for destroying worlds, but you know he’s a softie at heart as well. In your league there’s probably that one guy who just doesn’t quite know how to properly interact with the rest of the group. He says stupid things, lashes out at times at people and can generally be a bit of a jerk. But he does know his hockey and CAN be an asset to the league if the situation is handled well.

Possible Quote: “I’ve noticed that Bob’s Team missed having a valid roster for three days. If you’re going to keep intentionally screwing the league over then do us a favor and get the heck out of here and never come back!”

How to deal with them: There’s a theme here. Patience. The problem here is not hockey knowledge or even a lack of interest. It’s just a case of no social skills. Just because you have a fantasy hockey league doesn’t mean you know how to talk to people. Take this guy with a grain of salt and try to reframe some of what he says in a way that doesn’t get everyone wanting to toss him from the league. He will often be a petty solid GM and someone who will be quit active in the league. I like to talk a LOT to these kinds of guys and to try and get on their good side. If they have isolated themselves from others by saying stupid things (that they didn’t even know were stupid) then you’ve got yourself the corner on a pretty lucrative market.

The Rest

Jar Jar Binks – At the end of the movie this guy left everyone wondering why he was even there. Then it dawned on you. Merely so that you had someone to make fun of! These guys are the class clowns of any league and while they make you shake your head at times with the things they say, they also provide some comic relief at times.

Possible Quote: “Radim Vrbata is the most underrated player in the league!” (actual quote from one of my leagues from a guy a couple weeks ago)

How to deal with them: Have fun with the Jar Jars in your league, they might not always have picture perfect hockey sense, but they make your league a heck of a lot more fun to be in. There are deals to be found with these types of owners, but it’s hit or miss as to what they might be looking for in a player as at times they will overrate guys and at other times underrate them. There’s probably not a lot of point in providing sound analysis with any deals thrown out his way as he’s got his own mind made up and it exists in bizarro world.

Conclusion: A fantasy hockey league is like any other community in that it is made up of all sorts of personalities. It’s what can make them great or what can make them the last thing you want to be a part of. Trying to figure out how to negotiation the intricacies of all those personalities can be daunting at times but hopefully this will help a little. I certainly don’t have it all figured out either!